Being Real February 7, 2011

Hey. I haven’t posted in over a week and I know I should…but I’m being real here….I just have had too much on my mind.

Our 2nd interview was yesterday. It was a cold,snowy/rainy mix all day, but we got there safe. It went great. The kids made us proud parents, I looked loverly (despite the fact that I had whacked my own bangs off the day before in desperation) and Eric taught a wonderful class & preached his heart out. There were lots of compliments. People were very sweet. They took us to lunch. At a college cafeteria. It wasn’t all that great. Our kids were gracious (thankfully). They even helped the adults with trays and cleanup. (See, I’m a proud mama.) People (even an elder or two) told us they hoped we would be around a lot more (wink, wink). Lots of hugs. We felt good as we drove home through the snow. We took the kids to a superbowl party. We decided we were too tired (since we had been up since 5 am) and called everyone who had invited us and told them we weren’t coming. At halftime we got the call that we were not getting the job. No real reason. They loved us. Just had to choose one person. We hugged. I cried. I was glad we weren’t at a superbowl party when we got that call. The phone rang again – it was a couple from that church expressing their sadness. She cried. I cried. We said goodbye. We gathered ourselves to break the news to our kids when they got home. We told them. We hugged. Claire cried. We watched Glee & went to bed. The end.

Now we must tell all the minions of people we have had praying for us. I wish we hadn’t shared. But that’s not what living in community in the Body of Christ is about. So we will continue to share. Funny thing, after sending out emails & texts…it is deafeningly quiet!! I think probably no one knows what to say, but I thought maybe the “Rapture” took place and we weren’t chosen for that either! LOL! (They can’t “see” my bangs, so it can’t be that.)

Life is hard. My bangs are ugly (that’s the real reason…”we can’t hire that man to preach, his wife has strange bangs”). GOD is in complete and utter control & we are desperate for Him. Amen. This is just me being real.

Then there were 2… January 23, 2011

Job hunting, in the ministry world, is the weirdest. Because we are in the middle of it, my blogs will sometimes, necessarily, refer to such weirdness.

We are going back for a second interview at a church we really liked in a couple of weeks – almost 2 months to the day from our first interview. It’s been a long wait and we had pretty much made peace with the fact that it was not where we would be….then the phone call this week letting us know they want us to come back. They’ve narrowed it down to 2.

We are now left with some strange feelings. We still want the job very much. But only if it’s where God wants us. Only if it’s what is right for that church. We need the job very much. But only if it’s God’s plan for providing for us physically, spiritually, emotionally, & financially. If it is His plan for providing for THEM in all those ways as well.

And what of the other family that is probably sitting out there waiting as well? Are their house payments hanging in the balance? Are their lives on hold as they wait? Who knows what is going on with them. Do they have other options out there? Did they feel “at home” when they came for their first interview? Is this part of the country “peace” for their family? I hate that I know one of our two families will be hearing “no” in a few short weeks. I don’t want it to be us, but I hate that it has to be anyone. I’m praying for peace & provision for all of us.

It also brings about amusing questions from friends too. Our church family here is praying, but they admit to not liking it much because it means we would be gone. “Would you have to move?” they ask. I understand that it is only about 30 minutes from here, but, let’s think about this for just a few minutes. “No, they’d love for their minister to not be part of the community.” Duh. And then, this morning, friends who do not have kids (oh so apparent) “Have you let your kids in on what it would mean if you got this job?” WHAT? They are 16 and 13 and I think they caught on that it would mean changes when, say, we made them dress up and get up at dawn a couple of months ago to drive to a different church where we were all on display all day. Where sweet little old ladies we had never met gave us bookmarks they had made for us? SMOG preached, our family got to be first in line for the most amazing potluck you’ve ever seen, then the kids were scooted off to sit in the car for about 2 hours while they grilled SMOG & I, and so on for the rest of the day. How could we not discuss this with them? Cracked me up!

The whole thing is something I would love to someday write about to amuse you all. Someday when it is a little more amusing to me and not quite so close and so real and so dang serious. For now, I might need to vent over the next couple of weeks. Hopefully some of it will be funny. Hopefully I’ll be able to see the humor. Hopefully I’ll be able to go forward with the real knowledge that God is in control and relax and enjoy the humorous parts!

And THANK YOU GOD for 2nd chances!
Hang in there with me

Excuses January 15, 2011

Here I am again. Yesterday I promised I’d blog. But I was so overcome with my failure from the day before that I lost all inspiration. The day before that I promised I’d blog. That day I did blog, but I hated it. I deleted it. I am starting fresh. I know what you are thinking…excuses, excuses. The most important thing is that I’ve dragged my butt back to the computer to try again today. Right??

I think one of the excuses problems may be the name of my blog. What was I thinking? you ask. Well, let me tell you. I was trying to be clever and cutesy with the name. But, I do not in any way resemble Marilyn Monroe. I’m not even a big fan. I’m not hatin’ here…she was just really before my time and I have never really cared. Sorry, if you are a fan. So, as you can see, this title is really not too fitting. I am considering just scrapping this and starting a whole new blog…but that seems a little radical. I mean, just because I suddenly woke up to the fact that I don’t really like it? Anyway, I know it’s a little silly. But I come here and I feel “out of place” somehow. I start thinking about it and then I get writer’s block or something.

Ok, now I can see my shadow on the wall and remember that I pulled out the ol’ hot rollers today (I did it yesterday too). My hair is big & bouncy! It’s not the 80′s, so it’s a good thing I live in Texas. My hair is getting longer and it is thick. It may be turning gray…. and my eyes may be dimming (really, they are)… but my hair is definitely not thinning! I am trying to save money and not get it cut until things financially improve around here. It is a challenge. So I’m trying out new things to make it look better. Not sure the hot roller thing is cutting it, but I like the bouncy way it feels. I know that was random…but that’s how I roll.

I’m also freezing cold. My hands are like iced mittens (whatever that is). It was very cold the first part of this week, but it has warmed up nicely – it’s 57 out right now for crying out loud! The sun is shining, the sky is blue….but now I’m completely frozen. Through & through. I can’t seem to get thawed out. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve used the hot rollers (not to mention the hair dryer) on my head. But still. Frozen. What does this mean? (Your question: What the heck does this matter?) I have no idea. But it is making my fingers feel like they are going to break off and freeze to the top of the desk as I type. That’s all.

Ok, I’ve blogged….about the many excuses I have for not blogging. I am now going to go get ready to make a scrumptious dinner: Kickin’ Chicken with Crash Hot Potatos, & Green Beans. .
Trying some new recipes – I like that! My hubby (who will from now on be known as SMOG – sexy man of God) and I have to go a “getting to know you” dessert & coffee with other faculty members (for the Bible College where he is teaching) later tonight. Hence, the big, bouncy hair. I am hoping to have given it time to relax some before we meet new people in a few hours.

I’m sure to have a whimsical story to tell about this fun event tonight….so stay tuned! And I’ll let you know how the recipes come out. If they are good, I’ll share.

XXXOOO

ZUMBA!!!! January 7, 2011

I now know that Zumba is latin for “another opportunity for your teenage daughter to roll her eyes at you”.

The Zumba fitness game (for Wii) caught my eye a few weeks ago and I decided I would give it a whirl. I gave up other things to get it because I am hopeful that it will be a fun way to work out while at home. Apparently I was not alone in my thinking. We FINALLY found one yesterday and I was so excited to get started.

I had to run out to the grocery store to get a few things for the soup I was making for dinner. My 13 year old daughter couldn’t wait and immediately went and got into work out clothes to try it out while I was gone. I was a little sad that someone was going to try it before me, but oh well, such is the life of a mom. When I arrived back home I can see through the front window that my hubby is bouncing around all over the family room. He’s doing Zumba!!….while my daughter reclines on the couch with a disgusted look on her face. He was smiling back at me through the glass to let me know it was FUN.

I quickly went to work on the soup, hoping to get it going quickly so I could get one workout in before supper. Ahhhhh…..finally, my turn. I put on the belt it comes with for the remote, and turn on the game. My daughter decides another show would be fun, so she hangs out to watch. I try to channel my inner latin dancer. At first said daughter said I had more rhythm than her dad (I beam), but as the routine goes on it is clear that I have fallen out of first place. I feel myself slinging my body all over the room trying desperately to keep the girl on the screen green. I thought my daughter’s eyes might roll right out of her head. I don’t care. I was sweating and tired and desperate for water, but I knew I had had a good workout – pretty or not. She comments that maybe she was wrong about the rhythm thing…her dad got higher points than I did.

After dinner she does the HARD version (not BEGINNER) and gets 3 times the points I got (and comes to gloat)!!!!! Being 13 must be nice. She’s still got well-oiled joints that swivel easily, I guess.

The real kicker came when I woke up this morning and could barely move. My shoulders were killing me and, well, just about everything hurt! I am trying to take it as a good sign. It WAS just my first day. I’ll learn and it will get easier…..if I can work up the COURAGE to do it again today!

This morning my 8 year old neice came over. She and my daughter have Zumba’d for about 2 hours. She loves it and wants one for her birthday. Maybe I’ll get a chance to try again sometime today (without an eye-rolling audience). I hope I don’t throw my hips out!!

2011 – the year of Zumba!! hahaha!
Gina

COURAGE January 7, 2011

This blog is kinda serious, because I am so very serious!! Shhhhh….maybe someone will believe this! No, this first week of 2011 has been weird. Lots going on. I get on facebook and it is more like prayer-requestbook. It seems we are all going through some tough things. I think my problems are so big, but everyone has stuff…and some of it seems enormous these last few days.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how God tells us over and over in scripture to have courage….be strong & courageous….do not fear. I opened my Bible Sunday and started reading right where it opened: in Revelation 21:6-8. “He said to me:’It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. BUT THE COWARDLY, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars – they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.’” (Empasis mine.)

There is so much I would love to talk about in this one small passage, but one thing at a time. Did you catch what I saw??? Cowardice is listed right up there with murder, lying, sexual immorality, idolaters, etc. WOW! That has made me really think this week about what He is asking of me.

I am often scared and overwhelmed by the things He asks me to go through. I DO NOT have courage. BUT, it dawned on me this week that He knows that. He isn’t asking me to have my own courage. He is asking me to have His courage…His Spirit lives in me – therefore I can be courageous.

I’ll be honest, I’m going to have to pray about this more. Cry out to Him for the courage to face even the things that seem small to some people. It has been made very clear to me this week (in numerous ways) that I am right where God wants me…..DESPERATE for Him. I cannot do any of this in my own power. I am not smart enough, I am not fit enough, I am not savvy enough, I am not talented enough (you get the picture) to even make it through one day. I NEED Him. I NEED His power and His courage and His strength, His talent, His creativity to survive. I am thankful that He is gracious enough to have brought this to my attention.

Do I have the courage to totally lean on Him? To live each day to make Him known more? To allow God to totally show Himself off through me??? Do you? 2011 – the year of courage!

Gina

Resolve: [ri-zolv] verb, to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to do something): I have resolved that I shall live to the full. January 3, 2011

So, I looked up the word “resolve” in the dictionary since that is where the word resolution comes from. That is when I decided that I really did need to make some “resolutions”. I need to be definite and earnest about these decisions and not “pussy foot” around.

1. I RESOLVE to move more and eat less. I know that is a little ambiguous, but I hope to define it more as I go. I’d like to exercise 30 min-1 hour/day and make better choices in the eating department. I would like to lose 30-40 lbs. this year. If I get to a weight that feels “right” and it is before that 30-40 lb. mark…I RESOLVE to be happy with that and stop.

2. I RESOLVE to blog a couple of times a week about my progress…and just life stuff.

3. MOSTLY, I RESOLVE to become closer to God…to pursue Him more than ever this year. I want to be less of me and more of Him!

I think if these things are good….the rest will all fall into place. The Third one is the most important and will dictate the rest. So…..off I go on the journey. I have a couple of more things to blog about and will probably blog again today, but I wanted to post this since I really meant to do it by the 1st and just haven’t had time to sit down at the computer.

Blessings in the New Year!!
Gina

The Space Between Christmas & the New Year…and the best use of Snuggies…. December 29, 2010

The Christmas Tree and all the “stuff” that goes with it has been packed away and sent back to the attic where it will lie in wait until next November. It always makes me feel all revitalized and ready to clean my whole house! Now to get all the Christmas “goodies” outta here – I feel they’ve already been “packed away” -right on my rear end. But we still have the New Year’s celebrations to get through.

This week between Christmas & New Year is a weird one to me. Some of us have to work at least part of the week, but the kids are not in school and the general laziness prevails. The money is gone, but now the real sales are on. The leftovers are all here, but the sick feeling when I look at them has arrived. The Christmas movies & specials are over, but the new episodes don’t start until next week. The Christmas guests have gone home, but the New Years guests are on their way. A friend of mine called this “Limbo Week” and I think that fits pretty well.

It seems like the perfect time to reflect and make those New Year’s Resolutions. My BFF wrote today on her blog that she is usually not one to make resolutions…and I’m not either. But maybe that has been the problem!! Maybe I need to. And post some on here for all to see and hold me accountable!

Part of the reason for this line of thought is that while contemplating (yes, just contemplating…) cleaning out my closet this morning, I was thinking about how few things I have to wear that look good and fit and are still in style, etc. The thought actually popped into my head that maybe I should just wear that ugly off-brand snuggie someone gave me for Christmas every day and no one would see how my clothes looked. WHOA!!!!! STOP RIGHT THERE! I need to do something RIGHT NOW if I’m going there in my head! So, yes, I’m making some resolutions about my health and fitness and will post them as soon as I have a little more time to decide on specifics, because I do think that specific is important. I always say I want to lose weight, I want to exercise more, blah, blah, blah….but it is easy to blow off when not specific enough.

The other thing I want to do this year is blog more. I love to write and I am just not doing it. WHY? I have no idea, except I am just not. So, I will blog twice a week in 2011. I am putting it on my calendar. I will do it…even if I think I have nothing to write about. Let’s face it, there is always something to write about.

I will be posting my resolutions in my next blog…probably tomorrow….before the New Year’s guests arrive!!! (I can’t wait for that, by the way – we are going to have so much fun…maybe I’ll have something fun to write about in my first blog of the New Year! Hahaha!)

But for now I hope that you are enjoying your space between Christmas & the New Year and maybe even having a little time for reflecting on the many blessings of 2010 and the hopes & dreams you have for 2011. Enjoy!

What is it with all the Giants this week???? October 25, 2010

I’m feeling like this might be a good week to read about David vs. Goliath! It seems that in my little world there are Giants everywhere this week. And, thankfully, I am not talking about big problems looming over me (although that might be true, but I choose not to focus on that!). No, it’s all about Sports, folks.

If you have known me for more than 5 minutes, you probably know that I am an enthusiastic sports fan. I am not really sure why. I just enjoy watching sports. I have never been a good athlete – in fact, I believe I am the “anti-athlete”! I always thought it would be so cool to be great at a sport, but I’m just not. I do love the strategy and passion that goes into the games though. I love seeing the athletes who can do things I can only dream about. I love the teamwork it takes. I have so much respect for what that takes. I think it is also good, clean fun. I am a very enthusiastic, passionate person about the things I love and so sports is a good outlet for me.

I am a Texas Rangers fan and have been basking in the glow of still watching baseball deep into October! I cannot believe it is finally happening…my Texas Rangers going to the World Series this week!!! On Saturday night, the SF Giants beat the Phillies and thus are the “chosen ones” to get to face the Rangers.

I am also a Dallas Cowboys fan (yes, even when they stink – hey, I’ve been a Rangers fan for quite some time! – it will turn around eventually – patience!). Tonite my Cowboys will be playing our big division foes, the NY Giants.

I guess all my Texas teams are facing Giants this week. Too bad there isn’t a Giants team in basketball….the Mavs would surely be destined to play them this week! As I remember, David had 5 stones for his slingshot. It took him only one to get the Giant, but I think my sports teams will need all 5 this week!!

Lars and the Real Girl April 12, 2010

I’ve watched this movie several times now and it really is one of my favorites.  When I first saw it (thanks Min & Phil) I hadn’t heard of it and had no expectations whatsoever.  It was such a quirky film and I wasn’t sure I liked it until it was over and then I knew I LOVED IT.  I’ve become much more picky in my movie watching lately, so the fact that this one makes it to “watch more than once” status is significant.

One of the things I love about it is just the quirkiness.  It’s so different.  I love that the movie does not go where you think it is going.  The acting is superb and the lessons to be learned are numerous.  I even find myself changing my mind about which character the movie is “really” about.  Of course it is about Lars, but every character in the movie is changed and touched because of what happens to Lars. 

Last night as I watched it, I was thinking about how God and the “heavenly hosts” must find it lunacy how much “in love” we are with this world.  It isn’t the “real” thing….yet, we are crazy for it.  God is so full of compassion & grace that He gives us the desires of our hearts here and makes us “comfortable” and provides for the needs we think we have.  He even surrounds us with community to help us out along the way.  But He really knows better.  He continues to “woo” us.   He knows the “reality” will be sooo much better.  He brings us along step by step.  He “plays along,” if you will. 

Eventually, we start getting glimpses of what “real” life is…and we kind of want it, but the pain of giving all of this up to get it is very real.  We have to die to ourselves so we can be available to live in the “reality.”    The cool thing is, we are never alone.  He sometimes even just comes and “sits” with us while we grieve our loss.  But when that “reality” becomes real to us….wow!  He’s waiting right there, ready to go for a “walk” with us.

Ok, this is pretty far off what I normally see in this movie, but it is what struck me this time.  I may have to write another blog or two, at some point, about the lessons I’ve found in this movie, but for this morning….I’m just thinking about the “fakiness” of this life and how more and more attractive the “real” life is becoming.  I want it, but letting go of this one sometimes proves painful and it is a process. 

I’m just praying that this week is another step forward in the “letting go” and the “reaching out” to Him.

New Look…. April 10, 2010

I’ve worked this evening on getting a “new look” for my blog.  It needed a face-lift for Spring.  I need to be excited about coming here to blog!  I still haven’t figured out how to do some things I really would like to do, but I’m happy with the progress for now!

This is kind of like re-arranging furniture (which I am very fond of doing).  Feels good!